Why Did the Tofu Cross the Road?
…To prove it wasn’t chicken! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAH. Okay, onwards and forwards.
Life as I know it has changed. I have seen the light and I am now back in the darkness. This is my final post about my vacation in NYC (sorry for the ridiculous delay, but there was the small matter of a huge hangover whilst travelling home and then getting called into my weekend job yesterday, so let’s all just deal with it). I had the most amazing culinary experiences of my life this past week, vegan or non. It’s the simple things in life that bring me the biggest joy, like actually having multiple vegan choices on a menu, or not having to explain the concept of veganism to a restaurant. I was spoiled in NYC, and you are about to hear about the last and one of the my favourite restaurants I visited this entire week.
On Friday night Alex and I ventured into Williamsburg (her neighbourhood in Brooklyn) and hit up Foodswings, an all-vegan fast food joint. Yes, you read that correctly: AN ALL-VEGAN FAST FOOD JOINT! Frig right off.
Let me tell you how excited I was to go to this place: I was VERY EXCITED to go to this place! It’s widely talked about in the vegan community and has reached even the ears of us small-town folk in Halifax. Take a looky-loo at their menu board:
ALL VEGAN! And all unhealthy for you! This is my type of joint. The main problem at hand was that I couldn’t order multiple items from the menu without getting violently ill and shifty looks. This was only one side of their printed menu. IT GOES ON!
I have recently (how gross is this?) been craving a vegan corn dog, but they don’t exist in my neck of the woods. They have them on the menu at Foodswings! But they were out. Oy vey. So I went with chicken wings. I got….what flavours? Umm…Buffalo Style & Sweet Southern Fried BBQ. Missy behind the counter estimated the size WAY smaller than the delivered product, so I ordered 50% more than I could consume. My grandmother would have told me that my eyes were bigger than my stomach. I would have argued that I had been misinformed.
I also ordered the best fries of all time (I think they should advertise them as such, because HOLY CROW) and a pistachio milkshake. I was basically in a whole new level of heaven.
Alex was avoiding soy for the evening and went with a Daiya grilled cheese sandwich (tapioca-based!) and fries. I wanted to wrap my teeth around this sandwich in a real way. I held myself back.
Foodswings was my kinda place. They have a good sense of humour and it really shows, as they’re a late night joint that gets hit up by a lot of drunkards in the wee hours. In regards to their chicken wings, the menu states: “Please note: ‘bones’ are not edible & may present a choking hazard to small children, the elderly & the intoxicated.” I read this before my order arrived and I laughed and laughed and laughed and then feared for my life when I started eating. It turned out to be a wooden stick. I was not harmed.
I thought I lived a good life. It turns out to be a complete lie. I’m now back in Halifax and it’s a barren wasteland of omnivorous restaurants and people looking at you quizzically as you identify yourself as vegan. Frig sakes. It’s like experiencing the printed word and then going back to cave drawings. This is going to take some getting used to. Again.