Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I’ve figured out what it takes to get me to post: I need an assignment! I need pressure. Participating in VeganMoFo forced me to post every day, and so I did. Well, dear readers, I have a new assignment and I’ve decided to take you along for the ride! I have been asked by a certain darling Alicia C. Simpson to be a recipe tester for her as yet untitled third vegan cookbook. Eeeeeee! I was very delighted and honoured when she asked me to help out. This is my documentation of the testing process.

You will understand that since I am testing recipes from an unpublished book all recipes and ingredients must be kept TOP SECRET! So please bear with me as I vaguely explain what’s going on. Just enjoy the pictures, would ya? I knew you’d be understanding and forgiving, my darling sweet potatoes.

The first recipe I attempted was from-scratch vegan Ballpark Hotdogs. I had seen recipes in various cookbooks over the years for making gluten-based sausages and dogs by hand, but I had always been a bit frightened to attempt them. How foolish I was! This was a ridiculously easy process.

You start by whirring up some mystery ingredients in a food processor.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, mix some secret dry ingredients in a separate bowl.

Then you mix everything together! (I told you this would be vague, calm the hell down.) This forms a very sticky dough, which you divide into eight. (Can I say that, Alicia?! The picture pretty much gives it away. I am the leak in the department.)

Before we go any farther, let me just say that there are only ever two times that I feel like eating hotdogs: at ball games and on Remembrance Day. Let me explain. I grew up playing baseball. It’s my favourite sport of all time (mostly because I actually understand how it’s played–don’t even get me started on football). There were more than a few fundraisers and tournaments in my youth at which BBQ’d wieners were served. I associate the dogs with the park, I can’t help it. I’m going to see the Yankees play the Jays in Toronto in April. If they have vegan dogs at the SkyDome (doubtful), I’ll get one. (If they don’t I’ll just smuggle in some brand name Cracker Jack, which is all sorts of vegan, don’tcha know?) Now as for Remembrance Day, every year I marched in the parade to the Cenotaph with my Girl Guide unit and laid wreaths for our vets. After the ceremony we’d all troop across the road to the Legion for boiled hotdogs and hot chocolate. This is the stuff of my childhood. Anyway, onward and forward.

Next you make the dough into hotdiggitydoggy shapes and wrap it up TIGHT in tin foil.

Wrap it up like a Christmas cracker.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Then toss it in a steamer to cook! Easy peasy puddin’ ‘n’ pie!

Cook for an undisclosed amount of time and you’re ready. Hot dog!

Unwrap the tin foil to see the COOLEST EFFING THING EVER!!!!

I made this! FROM SCRATCH! It blows my mind how relatively quick and easy this was. These are 14 jillion times better for you than “real” hotdogs (don’t even get me started–even omnivores know how much disgusting garbage goes into those things), and they are uber cheaper (and less processed) than buying vegan wieners at the store. Oh yes, I am sold on making dogs and sausage from scratch!

Pop onto a toasted bun, slam on your favourite condiments, and Bob’s your uncle! Or in my case, Peter. But that’s neither here nor there.

This top secret recipe testing is due to last ’round about six months. If you’re up for it, you’re most welcome along for the adventure! VEGANS NEVER SAY DIE!!!!!

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Tags: Baseball, Bread, Buns, Girl Guides, Hotdogs, Ketchup, Mustard, Pickles